let it be a beautiful start..

I’d spent days after days to come out with something spectacular and profound to say in this blog..yet still..after that so many many days..only today I managed to urge myself to jot down what ever I feel I wanna write.maybe I should blame it as writer’s blocked syndrome for not updating my blog.sigh.

Anyway are about to complete my training.7 days left. I still remember complaining about the programme schedule back then. Repeatedly I keep on telling my friends I couldn’t take it anymore and I wanted something else. and ding dang ding dang..im almost done..phew..and now its time to do the real part..i have been digesting complete knowledge cycle of the ships plus management part for the past 1 year and 2 months and its about time to make the full use of it.

New year always come with new resolutions.So am I.I choose to be happy as a bird and accomplish my dream bit by bit inshaallah.

Life is too short to waste any single minutes of it..if you could find you happiness, grab onto it and hang on..Cause it might be swept away one day without you realizing it..but people always take things for granted and realize it when its too late..the BEST LOVE is the love that coming out from ourselves..Learn to love yourself before you want to make others happy..then only you can give you love unselfishly to people who deserve it..
A quote that I always said once upon a time..

It is still a beautiful world even now you’re at right at the very bottom of it..

If the old me always got frustrated whenever things turned out to be such disappointment in the end..But NOW I’ve changed..I’ve changed to be a person who is much stronger and capable to control my emotions..i’ve changed to be a person that I adore to be..and I really like to be this way..alhamdulillah..blessed to ALLAH S.W.T..and I hope my loved ones would be happy too..

Talking about cruelty, the bloodshed in Gaza are increasing day by day. Civilians, children’s died for no apparent reasons and it is just thunder heartbreaking because we could not be able to do anything more for it.The only things that we could do now is pray and boycott israel’s stuffs such as Marks and Spencer,Starbucks,McD,KFC,DKNY(oh craps,they did produced good stuffs erghh) and the lists go on..we can do this peeps..Lets do it together..you jump I jump remember!!

till then..xoxo peeps..

the brand new me and you

Happy awal muharram 1430 Hijrah and happy New Year to all of you..

2009..To start off, I really had a blast this few days..my beloved girlfriends came over all the way from kl to Terengganu just to celebrate the new year and spent couple of days here with me..How sweet is that?im lucky to have you girls..

Having them around here was a pure bliss. We made a pact as the new year came in the picture... it was a moment to remember....and I am sure 2009 would bring more prosperity, healthiness and happiness to each on of us inshaallah..

Unfortunately for me to fall sick when they was here..plus it keeps on raining everyday..However..It didn’t stopped us from having full blast of fun..rite girls..

And we seems cant stop feeding our ‘chomel’ stomach with variety kind of Terengganu foods..we even had nasi dagang for our breakfast.. then we visited yanna’s grandma house and I ate the most yummies meal ever..her grandma was a superb cook..thanks nenek..:)

Got to eat sotong katak and pisang gala which is very rare to get in kl okie.. the most delicious food dishes cooked by nenek yanna (ganu style)

We also managed to go to Taman Tamadun Islam where we experienced seeing the glorious Islamic arts, history and culture build on 21 Islamic monuments all over the world setting all together in this park.If you guys have a chance to come here, pay a visit to this place. The 10 bucks are well worth to pay I must say.

tamadun Islam

Wan ninie said this is the best place to meditate..Which I agreed undeniably..the scenery, the place,the environment..i am thankful to be here at the right spot on the right time..the best place to calm myself..to re-think back what is the best for me..to evaluate my life in order to be a better person..
This year going to be an exciting year and wonderful things are waiting us for sure...we will embark our journey together...last year..i was in a bit of turmoil..Too many things happened..ups and down..and feels like sadness toppled the happiness more than I could imagined..but I can feel this year gonna be the other way around..we gather strength from sadness and pain..each time we die, we learn to live again..and we are blessed to be able to conquer the vital part..

Yesterday..was talking to my beloved mother..she told me that Chico (it’s a cat btw) died due to fatal accident caused by an unidentified person..She was pretty sad cause its always Chico that would be sending my mom off to work and wait for her when she came back plus things aren’t working that well at home..Adding more turbulence to the depression state... but I kept on telling her things would get better....HE would listen to us..So keep on praying..Inshaallah..the prayer will be answered..it does occurred to me sometimes things aren’t fair enough but then why am I complaining..i am already blessed with what God’s given to me and my family...even things aren’t running smooth but it gets better in time..Playing my part as a devoted daughter, I really want to make my parents happy and proud with me together with my brothers and sisters. They had given a lot to me and its time for me to do the same things to them..

well..we will see how I would change my fate this year..

Toast to 2009!!Lets start it off with a good start shall we!!!Let by gones be by gones and start fresh.Have a great year everyone!! !!

p/s: Pray for the Palestinians peeps..It just tormenting to see the way they are surviving with the attacks by Israel regime. who are heartless bastard.People are dying for no reasons....Israel should get their punishment soon..

if i were a boy

the clown heart..so it is..this is exactly what i felt just now..on the verge of pulling myself out..but how would i be able to do it..only GOD knows..maybe its time for me to let go..

you dont listen to her,
you dont care how it hurts,
until you lose the one you wanted,
cause you're taking her for granted,
and everything you had got destroyed,
but you're just a boy..

should you be forgiven just because you're boy?
everyone have their own ego,their own temper.How you want to control it,it depends..sometimes you take it positively and only think you're doing it for the best when you caught in that moment or situation..on the other side,if you do the contractary,you tend to hurt people without you're realizing it..
its not that i choose to be away..its not that i choose to be this way..but the happiness..the smiles..feels like its long gone..and i need to get back..it is not slowly vanished as you said..but sometimes be apart for a little while is good to give both a chance to think back what had happened..there would be no one that could replace you..but whatever awaits for us near in the future..we never know..
the new year are coming..i just hope only wonderful things would be waiting for me..for what i've been going through this year,it wasnt that pleasurable year i must say..the roallercoaster is on off mode now..toast for the new year..and awal muharram..lets hope for the better to all of us!!

the another side of the world that i wish to go back

bradford city

new castle

angel of north

things are not been sailing smooth lately..again..but i read this at a fren's blog,

kadang kadang ALLAH sembunyikan matahari,

dia datangkan petir dan kilat,

kita menangis dan tertanya tanya,

ke mana hilangnya sinar,

rupa rupanya ALLAH nak hadiahkan kita pelangi.

its really easy to preach,but its hard to pass that phase..kan kan.. at this moment i am still searching.. something that can peace me at heart..i believe i will find it throughout the way..it is just a matter of time..or i might have found it..but its not the time yet..fate..and faith..its correlated..and sometimes no matter i tend to avoid it,it comes gushing every part in your life..and you dont even have the power to stop it..adoii..thats it when you begin to wondering..what if you are given different choices at that time..would your life be much different from now?

be positive..think positive..thats how i lead my life still.. semangat kental ni babe..never give up and i will struggle cause in the end of the day..it would be a sunny day..

just at some point,you tend to fed up with everything..felt like you want to pack your things and go far far away..the question is..to where?all my loved ones are here still..sigh* i guess i want to balek kampung..the boxing day gonna start soon..and i will miss it for sure..

is there any chance for me to be there next year?wink wink..wishful thought..hopefully..if i manage to save and have a tight budget for the whole next year..well probably..

i miss leeds and bradford horribly..the shopping enviroment,the weather,the historical buidings,the foods,morrisons,the malaysian games,sahara,bowling..and peeps there too..goshh..now i miss everything..sigh..

the wedding bells

all my bags are packed,im ready to go..

the song keep on humming in my head..

im going to another side of the world tomorrow..the final stage of my training..alhamdulillah..then life would be normal again..no more nomad life..inshaallah..GOD blessed..

anyway..i just came back from nikah of my fav cuzen..i am almost swept into tears when she finally became somebody's wife after the akad nikah..and to recall back the stories of the past between the couple..syukran finally they're officially husband and wife..patience and sincerity..is the key of the love glory..and it would always find the way..when there's a will..theres always a way..as someone told me before...

to sheri and nazar..may both of you will be blessed till the end of time..another stage of life...different kind of responsibility..but now you have each other to help to go through the rough time..weehee..thats the best thing of having other half right..

and my auntie's keep on saying next year would be my turn..and im laikee..huarghh..okie..as long as i can settle my debt first..then it would be no problem to me..*sigh*..

but yeah..we never know..who know the next event might be one of us...wink!!amin..i pray for you too girlss..

the never ending journey..we would never know what would it be in the future..just pray for the best...

and now im missing someone badly..GOD..two weeks seems like soo long still..ohlala..patience..this is the consequences I need to bare when its a LDR..if you guys ever think want to do this kind of LDR..better think again..byk dugaan wooo.. semangat kene kental as one of my girls told me..but im not complaining..its good to test your love towards one another anyway..this week i would be really occupied with wedding ceremony..from friday till sunday..the wedding bells..chewah..anyway need to head off to the wedding ceremony..till then..

hari keputerian..

i am sweet 25 already but how come people thought im still 20..haha..yet i felt happy and free..glowing and never been better..thanks for you wish peeps..thanks for the pressies..thanks for being with me all this while..i loved all of you..my BFFs ...girls who had been with me upside down,no words can describe how special you are to me..remember that..we gonna grow old and wrinkled together right?we are blessed...and there would be so many many wonderful things are coming towards us..inshaallah..
and hari keputerian..is there such word anyway?normally its hari keputeraan aight.. yadaa yadaa..but then theres one person who havent got the chance to come and celebrate with me yet..and i shall be waiting patiently for that particular person who are currently too attached with the job to come..
anyway..still waiting for the pics from the girls..the jakes pictures..ill get it from nurul....but you can browse it at yana's..when we went to karaoke-ing session..and dine at bubba's gump where i need to shake my booty in front of these peeps in order to get the cupcakes....and phew..theres eye catcher definitely..malu malu..but whatever..its once in a lifetime..;)

im still on holiday..my little sis was asking me..why do it seem like i have so many holidays..i just laughed..to think again..thats the advantages of being under training for a long2 time..you tend to get a countless holidays..you got a chance to stay in a hotel,resort and such...your meal course covered like 5 times per day..you dont have to think about the workload you will be getting yet..you finished your classes average at 4-430 pm...got the chance to travel all over malaysia and i even got a chance to go to japan..and the best part was i am not being monitored by my company..so i am pretty much happy..

but hey..wait till i am back to the office..then we will see if i can still goyang kaki like this..i better enjoy my fun time to the fullest..

i am going to batu rakit,terengganu next week..gonna stay for another 2 months at GEM resort..so if you guys are coming there..do come and visit me..teeheeeheee...it would be such a pleasure to entertain you guys..wink!!

first love

Salam.
As usual.yes.its been a while.hye back.time flew so quick.life had been such a turned over lately.upon completing 2nd last stage of my seeding training programme..just a lil bit more..2 month wont be that long..i shall wait patiently..

back to the title..Do you still remember who is your first love peeps?

My first love was when I was in standard 6..i remembered clearly every single detail of him and the reason I fall for him.it was funny back then.he was tall, handsome and quite good looking guy.i tend to be all excited whenever he came across me.but then..thats it..cinta monyet org kata..then both of us went on separate ways and GOD knows where he is right now..the point is, ironically sometimes we tend to think we really in love with someone but then out of sudden someone new comes into the picture..you tend to forget the one you had “loved”..should it be define as a mistake or fate?then we wished to turn back the piece back to the place..if you’re lucky enough..you might successfully put it back to the right spot..But if it is the other way around..it might be too late..

You tend to understand more and more as you grow older...and now I get the point.. Mistakes after mistakes..The only way to justify it is by going back to the starting point..Although things might not going to be the same anymore..But the peacefulness that you felt in you heart..would help you to feel better at least..

That’s the way love supposed to be.That is the way we should love one onother.deeply..passionly..sincerely..that is the secret.. for the relationship to stay fresh and alive..but some people just missed the point of all this.They think once they are in a relationship,that is all about it.There's no more urgency to show the passion towards one another.Cause they thought they understand the partner very well..and without your realizing it,both of you are already drifted apart..and not realizing it..love became jaded and faded..so cherish whatever you have before it goes away..
i cant stop smiling whenever i reminiscing my first love..im still all swayed..how sweet it was back then ;))

i always liked this song..cinta ini m embunuhku..for the one and only..